And so it goes...

Well, I'm feeling a bit better about everything now I had my little melt down. Things are looking up at work. Detoxing is still there. Relief Society is smoothing out...kinda.

Yesterday we had a memorial service for one of the less active sisters. We provided soup, rolls and cake for the lunch and it was so easy. A real blessing for everyone involved.

Then I learn that we have another funeral in the near future. Sister Harriet Wardle, one of the sweetest sisters in the ward, passed away this morning. I don't know when it will all happen. It was a bit surprising since Harriet has had the better health of the two of them lately. Jess is still hanging on although his health has steadily declined in the last few months. We miss seeing the two of them making their way down the halls of church or already sitting in the chapel when we arrive.

While we were living in Salt Lake I had to work for a time although I didn't want to leave the kids. Hannah was just a baby. One day I read in the Book of Mormon about how the people of Alma prayed that their burdens would be lightened. I prayed that mine would be lightened, too, and felt a physical lifting of my burdens. The weight on my shoulders actually felt lighter.

Tom reminded me of that scripture yesterday, so I've been praying for several things. That my burdens will be lightened. That I will be stronger and able to endure. That I will be forgiving, patient and able to fulfill my duties the way the Savior would. It's just a beginning, but my mood definitely shifted for the better today.

Note to the members of the ward who read this...We'll be calling for help!

The Blues

These last few weeks have been horrible. I'm so tired of feeling stressed out and worn out all the time.

First, the visit to my naturopath revealed that my body is having a hard time getting the lead out. (No pun intended.) He now has me on a supplement to help with that. The detoxing makes me very tired in the evenings, besides keeping me from losing any weight. Do you know how hard it is to eat like you're on a diet when you know it won't do any good? Very frustrating. I hate this stage of my healing.

Second, since the end of January I have had to do some things for Relief Society that have been very hard for me. AND then when it was done I was criticized because I didn't do it right. I never wanted this job and sometimes I have wished that I could give it back to some of the complainers. The previous president said she loved this job. I still don't, and I don't know if I ever will. It's the hardest calling I've ever had.

Third, we have had a very hard year at work, and were overjoyed when the new assistant manager decided to move to a new school. I took her place...but her presence is still very much in our kitchen. Rather than talk to me about things, the manager let her frustrations build up until she blew up one day (referenced in the previous post). She acted totally inappropriately and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. I walk on egg shells at work and then cry in the evenings. The day it happened she "invited" me to go home if I couldn't pull myself together. If I had gone home, I really doubt that I would have ever gone back. As it is, I'm wondering if I will stay past this year...or even make it to the end of the year.

What a man!

Yesterday was a "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Here's what Tom brought home to cheer me up.