Monty Python wisdom

One thing I never got into when I was young was Monty Python. I thought it was silly. I remember one time for a singles activity (before mission...I think I was about 20) we had a sleep over at the church and one of the activities during the night was a viewing of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." I fell asleep! So as Tom (and later) the kids got into Monty Python and laughed up a gut, I was always off doing my own thing. 


So here we are at 2012. Johnathan sent a game called "Fluxx" to James for Christmas. It's based on Monty Python and is a really crazy, silly game. It's amazing that anyone can actually win the game because the rules and the objective of the game change all. the. time. One card says to draw three cards and you can play one card per quote you can say. I just ignore it because I don't know any quotes. Also, there are cards where you can draw and play extra cards if you talk with an accent or sing a Monty Python song. Well, if someone else is already singing a song I'll copy, but otherwise I'm stumped, and I ignore those cards, too. 


Today I was trying to come up with titles for blogs (not wanting to do the same old thing) and decided to look for Monty Python quotes. I found a good one for my journey blog. I also found this one. It is by God. 

"Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy.'"

Can you imagine how Heavenly Father must feel when He hears these over and over and over. I'm so glad He is so patient and loving. I'm so glad there will never be a day when He loses his temper and says, "That's it. I'm done. What's wrong with you? Why can't you get it right? You're a screwball." But He is always there and always doing what is best for us to learn and grow. Sometimes it does feel like a two by four to the head, but He always loves us. I think one of the sisters in our ward has this down to a science. She can correct you in the nicest way, and you never feel that her love is less or that you are less because of it. 


In and of themselves, these feelings of guilt, sorrow and unworthiness can be a stepping stone to better things and a better life as long as they are temporary. However, they are also a sign of abuse when they become crushing and constant. I have dealt with alot of verbal and emotional abuse in my life, and unfortunately, last year was one of those experiences.  


I may not always recognize abuse as it happens, but I do recognize how it affects me. One sure sign that I have just been on the receiving end of someone stepping over my boundaries or being outright abusive is that I start apologizing for everything. I apologize for every little thing I think I did wrong, including anything I may have done to offend the abuser. In fact, I also apologize for what they did to me. I also feel guilty for standing up for myself and removing myself from the situation. From there I go to second guessing myself and feeling unworthy. 


I was recently talking to someone, who said she didn't understand how someone can be abused and stay in the relationship. Why can't they just get out and stay out? I explained to her that often the abuser cuts off all avenues for you to get help. When you are abused you are so confused you don't know which way is up. It takes time to sort things out and too many times people go back too quickly. Fortunately, for me, I am strong enough to get out and stay out.  


The only way I know to get past the guilt, sorrow and feelings of unworthiness is FORGIVENESS. Applying the atonement to our lives by forgiving others is the key. I did it once before and life on the other side was wonderful. For a brief three years I was the Ann Jenson Heavenly Father meant for me to be. I'm working toward that again, and I'm getting closer and closer. Sometimes I wish I could just go inside myself and fix the wires that were damaged so long ago and still cause me trouble now. I hope that someday I'll know enough to avoid these experiences in the first place, to be the real me always. 


You may wonder why I post about these things. It's because I believe Heavenly Father has given me a wide variety of experiences so I can help others as they go through similar things. But I don't think it's only me. I think He designed all of us that way so we can all help each other.  

Hello 2012!

May you be unencumbered by the past and be the most fantastic year yet! 


It's crazy how when I look back on 2011 I feel like I'm looking through fog. I sure hope the fog has lifted. 


Here are a few goals for 2012. 


Complete the virtue project and the integrity project for personal progress. 
Piano: learn one new hymn per month, perform twice (once on piano, once some other way)


My health goals are on the other blog. I'll just say I'm excited with the direction they are taking. 


And to finish off...a couple of books I highly recommend. 


"The China Study" by Colin Campbell
"In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan

Boredom

I've had a hefty case of boredom set in, and can't seem to get it dislodged. So I decided to make a list of the things you do when you are bored.

• Sleep--and when you wake up, turn over and sleep some more
• Check facebook for the 100,000th time today
• Check the blog again, just in case someone blogged in the last 2 minutes
• Read every book in the house
• Stare at the phone and will it to ring (hoping it will be someone other than teenagers calling to talk to your teenager)
• Bake cookies and eat them all. (ok, I only cooked four cookies and ate them)

Here are a few more productive things I've done:

• Go for a walk
• Set next year's goals
• Study so next year's goals are a possibility
• chat online with my sister

Magical 25th

Anniversary--

I'm finally getting around to sharing a few photos of our anniversary. I love nature. It's always pretty no matter what time of year. 

Relaxing in the hot tub...the best way...hot water with snow on the ground!

Christmas 2011

Timothy (on right) with his companion (just to the left)

Tom holding "Rusty Pick-ups" by our brother-in-law, Mike Harrington.

James with Marvin the Martian.

Hannah with pink...blanket and blouse. 

Linda got her set of "Anne of Green Gables"

Here's our Christmas craft. Mine is on the left. Hannah's is on the right.

Put a treat in the muffin cup and count down to Christmas!

Of course, the best part of any Christmas is the phone calls to the missionary and the kids who are far away. 

Merry Christmas from the Jensons

2011 in a Nutshell

• Tom is now working for CenturyLink (because Qwest was bought), and keeps busy in creative pursuits. He is still taking care of the church building.  

• Ann stopped working after the last school year and has enjoyed having more time for home, family and calling. She loved participating in the “Hymns of Thanksgiving” (a community choir/orchestra concert in November)

• John and Laney have moved to Teton, Idaho, and are preparing for school to start. Laney is the manager of the Arctic Circle in Rexburg.

• Tim served in Windsor, NS; Amherst, NS and St. Stephen, NB this year. St. Stephen was a repeat since it was his first area. He is now in St. John, New Brunswick which is the largest city in NB. He is loving his mission.

• James is a junior and recently got his driving permit. He enjoys (?) driving mom and dad around town.

• Hannah is first chair in the cello section. She is a sophomore this year.

• Tom and Ann celebrated their 25^th wedding anniversary.

  

We hope this Christmas season finds you well

and enjoying the blessings of our Heavenly Father.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love, The Jensons

Christmas traditions aren't complete without...

homemade chocolates (peanut butter truffles and oreo truffles)

Gingerbread houses! This is the one we sent Tim. He still hasn't opened the package.

Hannah's

My house 

Tom's 

James'

Broad-sided

Flowers from my friend!

I sure didn't see that one coming. I just spent three nights in the hospital. My bp had been climbing a bit all year, but I was working hard to control it before it got out of hand. Well, suddenly it got out of hand. I had really not been feeling very good for a few days and finally realized that it was just going up and up no matter what so we went to the ER. As they tried to bring it down, my bp tanked. Glad we were in the ER. Later they did an angiogram to see if there was something that could have caused the high bp and the crash, but I'm clean as a whistle. I'm tempted to put the pictures of my pretty heart here for the world to see. At least my hard work hasn't gone for nothing. 

The angiogram did show a weak area in my heart, but like the cardiologist said, "It's like the chicken and the egg. Was that area the cause of the incident in er or the result?" One of my meds is specifically for strengthening my heart. I look back over several years and wonder how it all mixes together. Everything from stress to the meds I took before. Like the meds before...they worked as far as bringing my bp down, but I had periods of being lightheaded daily. I always thought that was just the med doing it's job, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it was bringing it down too fast and doing little bits of damage. These doctors and nurses constantly asked if I was lightheaded at all and these meds don't seem to make me lightheaded yet they are doing the job.

So now I rebuild. They talked alot about stress and I'm sure the stress from the last school year and my trip to the mid-west played a role. I'm beginning to think that I was stressed out for so long it became the new normal because looking back I can see how even the little things were stressing me out. It really brought home that I need to be very careful. Apparently, I got the Bright heart (lots of love and disease). I just don't want the disease part to get a foothold. The good news is no blockage, no diabetes and my cholesterol is fine. 

The doctors seemed optimistic that I can get off the meds again in the future, if I do my part: 

Exercies--already doing it

Lose weight--that was my next step

Watch salt intake--I've never been a big salt eater unless I'm eating out

Stress--definitely will watch that one more closely

A couple chuckles: 

After the angiogram they asked if I wanted anything to eat or drink, I said, "yes, and make it lots of fruits and vegetables." 

Their reply, "That's what we like to hear."

And

We’ve been joking about our mission traditions. With both Johnathan and Timothy we had a car repair right before they left, and now we’ve had two health issues before they come home. 

James says, “I apologize now for what happens when I come home.”

We have been so blessed through all this. The sisters in the ward wanted to bring dinners...five of them. The sixth sister said, "I don't care if you need it or not. The Perry's will bring dinner on Wednesday." They just won't take no for an answer, and I love them all. Also, my counselors and secretary just carried on without me and did a beautiful job. I'm so thankful to have such wonderful ladies to work with. 

One other blessing was for John and Laney. They have been going through tough times of their own and John will be having his gall bladder taken out tomorrow. The bishop called to say that someone had left an envelope for them. It contained $200. Tom and I cried. 

The Circle of Life

Tom and I went to McCall for a small get-away and stayed at the Shore Lodge on the 22nd. Our actual anniversary was on November 26. We went all out and paid for the mid-grade room that had a balcony and view of the lake. Even in November the lake is very pretty. Tom was making all kinds of plans (snowshoeing and ice skating, etc) but when it came down to it we stayed at the hotel and relaxed in the outdoor hot tub. That's always fun when there's snow on the ground and the water feels so nice. 


We bought the dining package with the room so we enjoyed dinner in the hotel dining room. Gourmet food at it's best...except I found myself wishing for regular food...lol. Tom loved it though, and we both waddled back to our room and sat on the couch moaning because we'd eaten too much.  


I'll have to post some photos later. We forgot the camera and ended up using a single use one instead of the digital. So now I need to get it developed. 


I remember when my parents were celebrating their 25th anniversary. Tom and I had been married less than a year. We took my parents back to the temple they were married in...Idaho Falls. It was the first time they had been back to that temple since they were married. My grandparents went with us, too. It was a special day. 


But I remember thinking that 25 years was such a long time. It was so far out there I thought we'd never be that old ourselves. HA HA HA Here we are! Now my parents will be celebrating their 50th anniversary next August, we've celebrated 25 years, and Johnathan has celebrated his first. 


The circle of life! 

Thanksgiving at our house

We decided to go non-traditional this year. 

Tuscan Style Salmon

Green salad, yams, olives and cranberry sauce

(the kids wouldn't give up cranberry sauce and Linda wouldn't give up yams...lol)

Rolls and fruit salad...rice wasn't pictured

After the Thanksgiving meal we had a nice afternoon. 

Linda and I made Peanut Butter and Oreo Truffles. 

And we all decorated a gingerbread house to send to Tim. 

Our TV fare was "Hymns of Thanksgiving." Guess what! My luck held out. I didn't see every single foot of the program, but as far as I know there was only one shot where you might have been able to tell it was me...and I was behind the microphone! lol 

Amazing Stories

I've been in the mood to watch documentaries lately. The other day I watched one about some mountain climbers who had a harrowing experience. It was called "Touching the Void" and I was totally amazed at what the one climber did to get off the mountain alive. After that and the ones I've watched about climbing Mount Everest I've decided that any mountain climbing I do will not be that exhausting or that cold. I don't want to risk my life or battle frostbite for a little fun. It doesn't sound fun to me at all. 


Most recently I've watched a few about the Holocaust. "Steal a Pencil for Me" was about a young couple who met before they were taken to the camps. They wrote love letters the whole time they were in the camps and were fortunate to survive. It's possible that their love kept them going. They have now been married 60+ years. 


"The Hidden Child" was about a lady and her sister who were hidden from the Nazi's. She told about the first time she had chocolate when the town was liberated. 60 some odd years later she eats chocolate every day and remembers when the troops came to liberate them. 


The most amazing for me was "Forgiving Dr. Mengele." It was about a lady and her sister who were part of the twin experiments Dr. Mengele did during the war. Eva was determined to survive and at one point it was her determination that saved both her and her sister. In later years Eva's sister died from the experiments that had happened to her, but Eva was able to forgive all Nazi's. She says several times that forgiveness is freeing yourself of the pain of the past. 


I've discovered that same thing myself, and I'm always amazed at how many people never fully understand forgiveness. It's so simple, but so hard at the same time. So many just can't wrap their minds around the fact that they can forgive without the guilty party asking forgiveness. They want to hold on to the anger until the other person comes around. Eva said that as long as she waited for the Nazi's to apologize she would remain a victim, and she didn't want to be a victim any longer. She has spent years trying to help people understand forgiveness with little success. I know how she feels. I guess it's something people have to be ready for at specific moments in their lives.  

As luck would have it

I've had lots of fun being in this choir, although if I'd realized how challenging the work on my kidneys was going to be I would have waited until next year to do the choir. I feel good when I see the progress we have made with the songs. A couple of them are really challenging, but we're getting them! Only three more rehearsals, and then it's performance time. I'm getting a bit nervous since it's going to be on TV, but I keep telling myself that my past luck will hold out. 

My luck is that I'm always in the crack. 

Back in high school, during my junior year we performed "The Sound of Music" for the school musical. I was one of about 50 nuns, which meant I was on stage three times...at the beginning, middle and end. They had a photographer who took photos through out the performances, and later gave us the chance to order the photos we wanted. The photographer took several photos from one end of the stage to the other right at the point when all the nuns were onstage for one of the songs. Since I was on the front row you'd think I'd be in one of the photos. NOPE! I was in the crack. One photo had up to my left-hand neighbor and the next one picked up with my right-hand neighbor. 

In the past decade I've gone to BYU Women's Conference about 4 times and I always sign up for the Instant Choir. One year my sister-in-law did it with me. When I watched the broadcast later...guess what! My sister-in-law, who was standing right beside me, was on the screen, but I was in the "crack."

And there's the time when Craig Worth came and did a story on my marching band...Yep! I was in the crack on that one, too.  

There's only one time when I haven't been in the crack. It was while I was in the BYU Flag Corp, and they took a picture during one of the half time shows. I'm front and center, and on the official BYU 1983-84 calendar. 

There it is. My one claim to fame! 

You'd think it would give me a complex, but actually, I get more nervous thinking I could be seen by billions of viewers. I've always enjoyed my anonymity.

So, I keep telling myself I'll either be in the crack or hidden behind the conductor. LOL