Needs

I have been so upset this week after my visit with the naturopath. I had held on to the hope that the gluten thing would be quickly overcome and I'd be on my way again. But I guess that's not the case. I still have some hope that it will be a temporary thing, but I'm having to accept the fact that I could be watching gluten for another year or more. (I really need to only look at it one day at a time at this point.)

Also, in the last few days I've done some more extensive research. I find if strange that a few months ago I researched and could only find a few things listing symptoms of gluten intolerance and the foods to watch out for. This time I found enough to know that as careful as I've been for the last two months I've still been eating gluten without knowing it. That has upset me even more because now I feel like the last two months was a total waste.

I've been so discouraged about the whole thing that I decided to throw in the towel and quit. So I ate some gluten filled things on purpose. I'm actually glad I did because I'm finally noticing what gluten does to my body. I never realized it before, but now that I've cut back as far as I have I do notice. And now that I notice, I remember times in the last 2 months when I was feeling somewhat the same. So, it will be a chore to identify all the foods that I need to stay away from and then I'll finally be ready to really hit it hard.

I've had two thoughts about the gluten thing. One is that by not eating gluten I am helping my body not be so stressed, which in turn helps my body heal the more critical areas...like my heart.

The other thought is that the gluten issue won't be resolved until the other more critical issues are resolved. My body is handling things on a priority basis, and my heart is the highest priority right now.

The purpose of my fast this month will be to have the right attitude about all this. I need to look at it as just the step to regaining my health, and that in the end it will be worth it. Not that it is a major pain and inconvenience in my life. I need to look at all the foods I can eat instead of all the foods I can't. And I need to be grateful that something can be done. I need to be grateful for the extra help this gives me toward weightloss. It basically removes many of the problem foods I've struggled with in years past.

Also, I'll need to learn a few things like: how to go to a restaurant and ask for foods that meet my needs. I've never been one to make a fuss about how the food was not cooked right or to demand that it be cooked special for me. There are enough people out there with this problem that restaurants are carrying more and more gluten-free products. I also need to learn that it's ok to always take my food to events. I did this at the ward pancake breakfast and the game group. No one even knew that it was gluten-free and ate it anyway.

B & B

No, I don't mean Bed and Breakfast! I'm talking about Bummers and Blessings.

I was SO excited to think that I've now been off gluten for two whole months, and I was looking forward to slowly start eating it again. I've anticipated tasting that first slice of fresh baked white bread with butter and homemade strawberry jam all week. I've looked forward to not having to read every single label while shopping, being able to use a few convenience foods in my cooking, and being able to eat more than a salad at a restaurant. Then I visited the naturopath today, and he said, "NOT YET."

BUMMER.

I've been so discouraged ever since. Typically, I am not a picky eater and I'm getting so tired of always worrying about what is in the food I eat. In some ways this has been the longest four months of my entire life. Sometimes I can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I have already seen some great changes in my health and weight loss, it seems like I'm never going to get to the end of the journey.

BLESSING...

My good friend who is traveling this journey with me brought me a gluten-free treat this afternoon. Macadamia nuts! Just knowing she cared was enough to make me cry.

One of my favorite things as RS president is doing food orders. Sometimes it is hard to not judge and to find ways to help people improve from the self-imposed slump they are in. Other times it can be so heart-wrenching to hear about their troubles. But I always feel glad that I can help them in some small way. Tonight was one of the second type of food orders. I felt ashamed while talking to a sister who is facing so many trials, knowing that my biggest trial at the moment is a hiccup in comparison. The experience reminded me that Heavenly Father is in charge and that I need to trust Him.

One last note about RS...I've always cared about people and what is happening in their lives, but I have always assumed that if they want me to know something they will tell me. As RS president I've had to learn that as "mother of the ward" most of it is my business and it's ok to push for a little more information. Most of the time it's just priming the pump, and then they will share. Also, I've always been one who doesn't gossip much. I'm usually the last one to know what's going on. So this has been a very interesting experience learning what needs to be shared with the Bishop. Just part of my learning curve, but I know Heavenly Father hasn't left me alone in this. I always feel that someone is with me, helping me along as I carry out my duties.

So Far So Good

A couple mornings this week I woke up with a headache. So, I decided it was time to check my blood pressure. It was 99/78. Then I decided it's time to cut my pill in half and see what happens. I took half yesterday and half today. So far it has stayed low. This afternoon it was 111/79 and my pulse has come down, too. It was 68 this afternoon when I checked my bp. Yahoo! I can't wait to be done with the meds! And Yahoo! The stuff with the naturopath is working!

I have been so frustrated this last week and a half because my weightloss hasn't progressed very well. I'm chalking it up to being a woman. So, I've been looking at ways I am progressing to help fight the frustration.

At the beginning of the year I looked in several stores and could not find a size 18 pants anywhere. I'm hoping to make the switch from W sizes to Misses sizes at 18. Anyway, I gave up on the stores and this week I checked my closet. I found 3 pairs of 18W capris and one pair of 18 capris. I'm set for spring! The 18W are just right, but the 18 is just a bit snug still. I'll just keep sewing tucks in my work pants until next fall when I can wear 14's (hope, hope, hope!)

I also found that this blouse is TOO big! I last wore it on October 11 when I was sustained in my new calling. I happily tossed it on the DI pile.

I've lost a total of 28 pounds so far...14 since starting with the naturopath.

Lastly...

Who bakes at midnight? Busy Relief Society presidents, that's who!

Don't these look too good to be gluten-free? Believe me, they taste too good to be. Thanks to Mary B for the recipe. It converts to gluten-free very well.