The Blues

These last few weeks have been horrible. I'm so tired of feeling stressed out and worn out all the time.

First, the visit to my naturopath revealed that my body is having a hard time getting the lead out. (No pun intended.) He now has me on a supplement to help with that. The detoxing makes me very tired in the evenings, besides keeping me from losing any weight. Do you know how hard it is to eat like you're on a diet when you know it won't do any good? Very frustrating. I hate this stage of my healing.

Second, since the end of January I have had to do some things for Relief Society that have been very hard for me. AND then when it was done I was criticized because I didn't do it right. I never wanted this job and sometimes I have wished that I could give it back to some of the complainers. The previous president said she loved this job. I still don't, and I don't know if I ever will. It's the hardest calling I've ever had.

Third, we have had a very hard year at work, and were overjoyed when the new assistant manager decided to move to a new school. I took her place...but her presence is still very much in our kitchen. Rather than talk to me about things, the manager let her frustrations build up until she blew up one day (referenced in the previous post). She acted totally inappropriately and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. I walk on egg shells at work and then cry in the evenings. The day it happened she "invited" me to go home if I couldn't pull myself together. If I had gone home, I really doubt that I would have ever gone back. As it is, I'm wondering if I will stay past this year...or even make it to the end of the year.