My cousin did a series of posts about her husband during their anniversary month and I thought it was a neat idea. So I’m stealing that idea from her.
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So much for copying a good idea. Life has been too crazy. A series of posts became one post.
I didn’t date much in high school, or in college, for that matter. My first date was while we were visiting Payson, Utah. We were living in Lewiston, Utah at the time. I was almost a junior. I was visiting with one of my Payson friends and kind of haphazardly suggested that we grab her brother and her boyfriend and go to a movie together. So, we did. We went to the drive-in and saw “Young Frankenstein.”
The other three dates in high school were also girl’s choice affairs. Two were dances and one was a Young Women’s activity. For that one we had it on April Fool’s day and we colored the food weird colors. We each asked a boy to come to the dinner with us. I asked the boy in the other ward to go with me to this activity. (Yes, boys were limited at that time in Lewiston…they were either dating someone seriously, or my cousins. Very few were available.) He was one of the popular boys in the school and I was surprised when he said he would go with me. The leaders tied our hands together so we were one big chain of people and we had to eat that way. My date was left handed, but valiantly ate with his right hand so he could get along with all the right-handed people.
I was in college before boys started asking me out, and that was rare. I had a low self-esteem, but I had a mask of confidence. To look at me you’d never know I felt poorly about myself. I also didn’t have much training where boys were concerned. I didn’t have an older sister to teach me the ropes, and my oldest brother was 10 years old when I started college. Not a lot of education to aid in the dating scene. Some of my guy friends (Garfield and Bruce and a few others) helped with that. They taught me that boys were afraid of rejection, that if I smiled at boys the battle was won, and that I had a lot going for me.
Here are a few of the boys I dated in college:
-Ben—one date
-The one who told me on our first date that he came to BYU because he knew he would find a wife. I told him it was going to be quite a while before I got married. On our second date he told another boy in the ward that it would be a while before he got married. That was our last date.
-Joel—We went on three dates and he had decided that I was the girl for him. I had to write him a “Dear John” letter during the summer.
-Raymond—who didn’t like the fact that I’d never been outside the United States
-Paul—who believed in keeping his woman bare-foot and pregnant. I let him know I was not the girl for that.
-And then there was Tom! I can count the number of boys I dated on both hands so this is the entire list.
Part 2: Tom is very persistent and optimistic.
Tom and I met in January 1984. It was my third year at BYU and about 1 year after he had returned from his mission. The first time I met him was at a ward dance. He was trying to get my roommate to go skiing with him, and she wasn't taking him up on it. For some reason his persistence didn't impress me then. Tom and his roommate were made home teachers to two of my roommates while the other roommate and I had another set. That's when Tom started winning me over. I was impressed with how much he cared about my roommates and what a good home teacher he was. Soon he was coming over twice a month to home teach and 28 times to goof off.
Tom's persistence and optimism have really paid off through the years. No matter how hard things got he always was looking ahead and seeing the silver lining in the clouds.
Part 3: Tom is fun and impulsive.
One of our best dates was the night we went dancing on campus. We didn’t know anyone at these dances, but there were always a number of ward dances going on. After we danced for a while we ran through the sprinklers. Then Tom showed me how the statue of Brigham Young could do the funky chicken. The statue has been moved now so I don’t know if it will work, but back then you could run across the cuad and the vertical lines of the Administration building passing behind Brigham created an optical illusion that made it seem like he was dancing. Another good date was the night we bought items from the bulk section of Smith’s. Just 3-4 pieces of each kind of candy. The cart was filled with plastic bags and a little candy. We went on a few dates, but mostly just enjoyed doing things together as friends.
Just before leaving on my mission Tom and I played a joke on a mutual friend and went to church "engaged." I had on a cheap, fake diamond and all. During that weekend Tom also kissed me for the first time...my first kiss ever.
Part 4: Tom is supportive.
Most boys wouldn’t take me seriously when I first told them I was going on a mission. They usually did a double take when they realized I was serious. Tom and Bruce were the exception. They were excited that I was going on a mission and totally supported me. Tom wrote about every six months, and his letters were just right. He talked about scriptures that meant something for him and new insights he had about them. He was very encouraging, and wrote the kind of letters a sister missionary needs to receive. Over the years Tom has supported me in everything I do. I don’t think I could hold the calling I do without his support.
Part 5: Tom is a cut above the rest.
He’s the only man I dated more than three times.
He’s the only man I’ve ever kissed.
He’s the only man who had Heavenly Father’s stamp of approval!
